Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Learning to fly

Wow!  Posting two days in a row!  I could learn to like this.  *snicker*

I wasn't called to substitute teach today, so I treated myself to breakfast out.  Great company and great conversation!  Every once in a while, time out with other adults is definitely needed.  I really enjoy meeting with my book club.  The women in the book club make me think, laugh, and love.  The people I chat with at my favorite breakfast hang-out are also great for conversation and laughter.

The rush from a full belly laugh where I don't care if others are watching is what I needed this morning.  Stressing about wanting to give everything to my children has caused an ache in the pit of my stomach.  Letting go and letting myself admit that it is not fully my responsibility makes for a lighter heart.  If I want to teach my children to fly, I am doing them a disservice by working their wings for them.  If my oldest truly wants to go to the college that is her first choice, she needs to put forth the effort to apply for scholarships to get there.  I can help her, but I can't do it for her.

In a way, this is like my diabetes management.  My doctor, husband, and other PWD (people with diabetes) can give me information and tips on managing my diabetes, but I actually have to take ownership and responsibility to do what needs to be done.  Like my daughter who knows she needs to fill out scholarship information, I know I need to watch what I eat and exercise.  It is up to me to reach my goal of tight management of my diabetes.

Yes, I'm going to still help my child find scholarships just as my husband will help me find low-carb snacks.  However, just as my husband steps back when I take a hand-full of chocolate chips now and then, I'm also going to take a step back and let her test out her wings a bit more.  She may stumble, but I don't think she'll fall.