Friday, January 21, 2011

Comfort foods

Well my cold is still here.  Feeling better overall though my upper lip is red and irritated thanks to blowing my nose over and over again.  Overall I've been able to keep things in check by getting plenty of sleep, drinking water, taking vitamins, and trying to keep my glucose level steady.  Ok, confession time: I ordered pizza tonight.  Regular crust, not thin crust.  I'm sure my glucose levels went a little high tonight, but I promise to be good tomorrow.

In the past, I've talked about a designated cheat day.  I haven't allowed myself the cheat days I was planning, but honestly I have been eating well and haven't felt the need.  Tonight, however, was driven by this cold.  I didn't want to cook and I didn't want to go out to get something.  Pizza delivery was my favored comfort food of choice.

Next to me, I now have my favorite snowman mug full of my favorite comfort drink of choice, vanilla chai tea.  Vanilla has always been a flavor/scent that brings me comfort.  I love to use vanilla while baking and use vanilla scented soaps and lotions.  I love to be surrounded by vanilla.  It's like being wrapped in a warm blanket while sitting by a fire.  Since I don't have a fireplace, I'll settle for the vanilla chai and a hooded sweatshirt this evening.

When you're not feeling well, what are your favorite comforts that make you feel better?

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Evening reflections

It's about 10pm here and I'm reflecting on the day.  For the most part the house is quiet.  Gentle music is playing in the background joined by the sound of my husband asleep in the recliner.  It looks as though he has also caught the cold bug.  Today was a very busy day, but it was a good day.  I was able to run some errands this morning as I only subbed this afternoon.  However my limited time made the errand running a little more crunched for time than I would like.  After finishing off some paperwork at home, I got #4's glasses fixed, picked up lunch for hubby and me, delivered hubby's lunch to his office (needed to have a secretary unlock his office so I could put it on his desk), took #4's glasses to her school as well as a note for one of my scouts, and then went to sub in a fifth grade class for the afternoon.

One of the first things a member of the class said to me was that they had a habit of scaring off substitute teachers.  Oh yeah, I remember this class.  I had them for art not too long ago.  I reminded them of this as well as my answer when I was given the same warning earlier this month.  "I have five children.  You don't scare me."  We had a good afternoon, though this group gets chatty if not reminded to keep the volume down.  Trust me, they're not the first class that is chatty and they won't be the last. 

There are times that I do reflect, "What scares me?"  Bugs and creepy crawlers don't scare me, but heights and closed in places do.  But then I think some more.  What really, really scares me?  My number one fear is not being there for my children. I think this is every mother's worst fear.  We signed up to raise a little helpless baby into a mature, responsible adult.  It is also my responsibility to take care of myself so I'm around to guide my children into adulthood.  I am to do all I can to make sure that happens.

Tonight before I go to bed, I will take my vitamins, get on my pajamas, and before I go to sleep I will ask the Lord to watch over my children and husband.  I will ask His blessings on them, that they may be happy and healthy.  Then I will drift off into dreamland... dreaming about a cure!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

SNEEZE! *sniffle*

Besides being the mom of five, I also have two paid jobs:  substitute teacher for our school district and worker at the YMCA's drop-in nursery.  I love working with children, but the germs that come with the jobs aren't a benefit that I enjoy.  This evening I started sneezing.  Now I'm stuffed up.  Luckily I've been taking a multivitamin with an extra vitamin C, so I hope I'm able to fight off this cold quickly.

This makes me think about how my diabetes may or may not affect illnesses and how illnesses may or may not affect my diabetes.  When I'm sick, there are times I don't want to eat at all and other times when I want to eat everything in sight.  Both are not good for glucose control.  Then of course stress of any kind (emotional or physical) can mess with glucose levels.  For many people with diabetes, their numbers can be all over the place with just a simple cold.

Thankfully my glucose levels rarely go into a dangerous level.  Even when I go pretty low, it's high enough for me to realize something is going on, test my glucose, and treat the low.  Yes, I realize how "lucky" I am and thank God often.  I say "lucky" because no one with diabetes is lucky, but I do feel truly lucky that I have no yet dealt with the extreme highs and lows that many others have.

Still praying for that cure, but in the mean time I'll take care of this cold with another cup of tea and my vitamins.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Time to fight

So many days I find myself in a flurry of emotion.  Sad, angry, happy, depressed, in love, curious, motivated... the list goes on.  Often times, most of these occur when I think of my present and future life with diabetes.  Oh, how I pray that future will see a cure for diabetes!  Some days, managing my diabetes seems like a cake walk... Cake?  Where???  Oh, sorry, I got a little distracted there.  Where was I?  Oh, yeah.  Then there are those days where I get down about diabetes.  Yes, there are days I cry, but those times make me even more motivated than ever to fight this monster.

If I start to cry, I let myself cry.  I've learned that if I tell myself not to cry, I start beating myself up about crying in the first place.  "Cry!  Let it out!  Yes, this sucks, so cry if you need to and don't worry about what others think."  Some days I'll shed only a few tears and be done with it in just a few seconds.  There are other times, though, where I'm in a full-blown crying fit for several minutes.  I don't think it ever lasts for more than five to ten minutes and then I'm more motivated than ever.  I'm ready to fight!  I'm ready to help find a cure!

When I do craft fairs, I have a jar to accept donations for the American Diabetes Association.  The ADA has provided me with a lot of information and support over the last 18 years.  (I had my first case of gestational diabetes in early 1993.)  At the table, I offer a crocheted dishcloth for each donation over a certain amount.  When I'm in one of my "fighting" moods, I get out my yarn and start to crochet.  It's nothing fancy, just a simple square.  No fancy stitches, but people still enjoy them.  Some day I won't need to make the dishcloths as a fundraiser for diabetes.  Some day I'll just make them for our own use and to give as Christmas presents.

(I have to admit that I'm still thinking about that cake!)

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Pseudo vlog

A vlog is a video blog.  Recently, Ginger, a person with Type 1 diabetes tried to explain the difference between Type 1 and Type 2 with this vlog.

There was a lot of feedback on her Facebook page from several people, especially people with Type 2 diabetes.  She then posted a reply.

In her reply, she asked for people with Type 2 diabetes to share their feelings and experience.  Since I'm not yet ready to make my name and face known in the blogging world, I came up with what I feel is an acceptable alternative.  This video takes bits and pieces of various conversations I have had since being diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes almost three years ago.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Time to ramble

One of my biggest frustrations about being an atypical Type 2 is trying to find other Type 2s like me.  If I find someone my age who has diabetes, they're typically Type 1.  Yes, I love talking to Type 1s.  We honestly do have a lot in common about our diseases.  We all have to watch our carb intake (not calories).  We all have similar fears about eyesight and toes.  However, it's not totally the same.  Type 1s deal with injections or pumps on a daily basis.  Not all Type 2s deal with insulin or even oral medications. 

As I search diabetes blogs for someone "like me," I find pages upon pages of blogs from Type 1s or the parents of Type 1s.  When I do find a blog of a Type 2, often times it's someone who falls in the stereotype or a person who is needing insulin.  I know there are plenty of young, atypical Type 2s out there, but it's like looking for a needle in a haystack.

I still love reading blogs of Type 1s like Kerri at Six Until Me.  Kerri has been my inspiration and motivation to really work on this blog that still needs so much work.  So many times I nod understanding what she is going through, especially during her pregnancy last year.  Although I dealt with gestational diabetes during my pregnancies and not Type 1, Kerri and I did have some similar issues and concerns.  Yes, my last child was born over six years ago and her daughter just last year, but I felt a bond with her as I read her posts.  I still do.  Yet, something for me is lacking.

Missing is that bond with other Type 2s.  People trying to manage their glucose levels with diet and exercise alone.  People who are not the norm.  Honestly, I should be used to being "different" by now.  Afterall, being the mom of five isn't exactly common place these days.  Perhaps I need to keep looking for the commonalities I have with the other people with diabetes I meet, regardless of the type or treatment method, instead of getting down about our differences.  No, it's not impossible to find someone "just like me," but there are so many awesome people who are close enough.  So many people that are so awesome that I shouldn't push aside.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Happy New Year!

Yes, I know it's already January 3rd, but it's never too late, is it?  The new year is a time for renewal, a fresh start.  I haven't had the best control over my diabetes, but that's in the past.  There's nothing I can do to change what has already been done.  I am back to tracking my food intake and exercise on SparkPeople.  Yes, even that trip to McDonald's yesterday.  I need to be honest and accountable to myself.  None of us are perfect, but each of us can strive for better. 

I'll let you all in on a little secret: I have a king size almond Snickers bar in my drawer.  I want to eat it, but I haven't because I don't want to enter it.  Silly piece of motivation, but it's working. 

Today is the last day of Christmas vacation for our children.  Ok, so technically it's winter vacation.  Also technically today is a teacher inservice day, so not really part of their vacation, but anyway...  We've had a good time together as a family.  Yes, the kids have their squabbles.  Don't we all?  Overall they're a fun group of kids to be around and I'm a little sad that tomorrow we're back to the school routine. 

You probably would like to know my resolutions/goals for 2011.  Here it goes:
  1. Keep track of my diet and exercise to keep my glucose levels under control
  2. Get myself as organized as everyone thinks I am (or at least closer)
  3. Enjoy the time I have with my family and make it special
May God bless you during your time of renewal!