Saturday, January 15, 2011

Time to fight

So many days I find myself in a flurry of emotion.  Sad, angry, happy, depressed, in love, curious, motivated... the list goes on.  Often times, most of these occur when I think of my present and future life with diabetes.  Oh, how I pray that future will see a cure for diabetes!  Some days, managing my diabetes seems like a cake walk... Cake?  Where???  Oh, sorry, I got a little distracted there.  Where was I?  Oh, yeah.  Then there are those days where I get down about diabetes.  Yes, there are days I cry, but those times make me even more motivated than ever to fight this monster.

If I start to cry, I let myself cry.  I've learned that if I tell myself not to cry, I start beating myself up about crying in the first place.  "Cry!  Let it out!  Yes, this sucks, so cry if you need to and don't worry about what others think."  Some days I'll shed only a few tears and be done with it in just a few seconds.  There are other times, though, where I'm in a full-blown crying fit for several minutes.  I don't think it ever lasts for more than five to ten minutes and then I'm more motivated than ever.  I'm ready to fight!  I'm ready to help find a cure!

When I do craft fairs, I have a jar to accept donations for the American Diabetes Association.  The ADA has provided me with a lot of information and support over the last 18 years.  (I had my first case of gestational diabetes in early 1993.)  At the table, I offer a crocheted dishcloth for each donation over a certain amount.  When I'm in one of my "fighting" moods, I get out my yarn and start to crochet.  It's nothing fancy, just a simple square.  No fancy stitches, but people still enjoy them.  Some day I won't need to make the dishcloths as a fundraiser for diabetes.  Some day I'll just make them for our own use and to give as Christmas presents.

(I have to admit that I'm still thinking about that cake!)

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