We Are Not as Strong as We Think We Are

When I was working on my masters degree, I found myself wanting to give up more times than I care to admit. I'd cry. I'd yell. I'd hang my head. My husband and children would encourage me to keep going, but sometimes their words stopped at my ears because I wouldn't let them reach my heart. Music, I found, more than often reaches my heart.

During my undergrad days, I was a huge Rich Mullins fan. He was a Christian artist whose music easily touched my heart. Luckily I still had some of his music from back then and I brought it back into my life as I struggled to balance family, work, and school. "Hold Me, Jesus" was a regular song on my playlist. I would feel as if Jesus himself was wrapping me in a hug, encouraging me.

Some days I felt so weak. I found this song, "We Are Not as Strong". Even though Rich calls it the "Christian break-up song." I felt as though admitting that we're not always strong was reassuring. I needed someone to say that it was ok to feel weak. The song reminds me that I am "beautifully and wonderfully made."  Even though the song was meant to deal with the sadness of a relationship ending, it worked wonders on my heart to let me know that I could make it through the tough times.

Sometimes, however we need more than a song. We need more than a family member or other loved one. We need more than a best friend with a pep talk. Sometimes we need professional help.

This is something I've just realized and admitted to myself. Although I feel like I'm doing an adequate job managing my life with diabetes, I've decided I need some extra help. Today I met with a local dietitian to help with my nutritional needs. I'm also seeing a counselor for my emotional needs. Of course both of these areas have a huge affect on my general health and happiness. This was not an easy thing for me to do. I'm one of those people who does not like asking for help.

Please, if you're ever feeling like you have a little too much weight on your shoulders, admit to yourself that you can't do it alone. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness. It's showing how strong you've been for so long and you need to share the load.

We are not as strong as we think we are.

Diabetes Burnout (#HAWMC)

Please please please... 
I still need more guesses for my Misinformation post. Click here to read it and guess!

Today's WEGO prompt: (There were two prompts)
1- Write about burnout. What does it feel like? What are your burnout triggers?
2- What gets you OUT of the pit of despair when nothing is going your way?

During this month, many of the prompts list two options.  I pick the one that inspires me.  However, for today's prompt, I feel one leads into the other.  I don't feel it's fair to talk about burnout without also talking about what helps me out of it.

I will admit that I fall victim to burnout quite often.  I get tired of watching carbs. I get tired of exercising. I get tired of being "Super Diabetic."  I already play the role of "Super Mom" so wearing two capes weighs me down.

When I experience burnout, I just want to sit around, feeling sorry for myself.  I want to eat as much thick crust pizza as possible without throwing up.  I want an large chocolate shake.  Too often, I pretend like diabetes doesn't exist.  Yes, it scares me when I think what I'm doing sometimes.  For example, I just ate two servings of mashed potatoes for dinner.  Yes, I regret it.  Yes, I'm beating myself up about it!

What can I do about it once it's done though?  What's done is done.  Is there really a point of beating myself up over something I can't undo?  (Well, not without being accused of having an eating disorder.)  All I can do is pull myself up by my bootstraps and move on.

How do I get the motivation to move on?  Sometimes through my family.  My hubby is great and very encouraging. However, often it's nice to talk to someone who has been there.  Quite often I'll lean on members of the DOC (diabetes online community).  Usually I'll post on Facebook or Twitter asking for some support.  Sometimes I'll write on my blog.  Even if no one replies, getting it out helps a lot.  Sometimes I'll go to the Y and walk around the track or walk on the treadmill.  Drinking a glass of water or a Diet Coke also helps (water is always the healthier option!).

The most important part of burnout, regardless of condition or situation, is realizing you're not alone, even if it feels that way.  Everyone goes through burnout.  EVERYONE!  Keeping that in mind, remember that "You can do this!"